Pretty Shitty Things

These cloudy days are seriously the best way to remember some rules for the future:

1) Never trust a stranger. He can leave only a lot of cigarette butts in your heart.

2) Even if you are lonely never go under your standards. It does not worth it.

3) Waiting for luck and so called happiness might be very long in case you are wasting your time by bullshits.

4) You can give up on any person but not yourself. Unless you have two or even three yourselves. Then just give up on whatever.

5) Be honest all around until you simply hate people. Then rather shut up.



Wish me luck to be strong enough to follow these rules!

Future Heartbeats

Being stuck really sucks but i already know that the sun always comes once again. After longest silence ever i finally feel some positive vibrations coming from the outer space. And that feels great. The existence makes sense and everything seems to be brighter. The summer had come to my heart. Feeling of warm emotions and butterflies in my stomach is my everyday meal. Finally i feel like a grown-up in some way - i made mistakes but i could change my habits not to make them anymore. Last summer i found out that pushing too hard gives you more pain. The result is simple. Wait and it will come itself. Being patient is the biggest power of all times. Time brings roses and these roses are sweet but you keep watching the thorns, just in case... Time brought me to presence, which is much better than any parallel world in the universe. The journeys of our lives are full of unexpected surprises. Looking forward to enjoy another ones.

Special song of these days:

Good luck for your journey!

Tabula Rasa

Do you ever feel like having nothing on your mind? I mean nothing, pure nothing!
No ideas, no motivation, no thoughts...... BANG! --- that's me for the moment.

My emotions are between borders, which are unable to let me have some joy, anger or even sadness. My brain is washed by medicine generally called "mood stabilisator". I was imported into the world of "normal" people. I was forced to become a sheep. Part of a herd.

I can't breathe...

I hate the person i've become. I am just an average demotivated meaningless prick who has nothing to say. My head is full of thrilling silence which is killing me.

And that's how hospitalization in a madhouse and medicine affects you.


Will the real me ever be back?